Fade from Black
by Envy5
Summary: Jacob and Bella had spent a lifetime together, but how will they handle the fact that they have officially grown apart? Entry for Bathed in Black Contest. B/J and B/E


**Bathed In Black**

**Title:** Fade from Black

**Penname:** Envy5

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:** Bella/Jacob

**Disclaimers:**

*All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

*This story makes a strong reference towards domestic violence. If this is a sensitive subject, you may not want to read it.

I puffed on my Virginia Slim as I sat on the porch of our house, watching Paul and Jared carry my couch out to the cargo trailer that I had rented specifically for this move. The sun was beating down on my back, surely turning me bright red like a strawberry considering the tiny tank top that I had on with my cut off jean shorts.

I watched as the sweat ran down their rippling backs and abs and arms as they hoisted the couch into the truck as if it were nothing. I didn't know what was in the water here on the rez, but those boys grew into men unlike anything I had ever seen before.

Physically, they were the closest things to gods that you could imagine here in little old Forks, Jake included, but damn it if they didn't stay little boys in every other way that counted.

I blew my smoke into the air one last time and tossed my cigarette into the yard as the boys put the last of my boxes into the truck.

I don't think they had worn shirts the entire time that I'd known them.

Moving was for the birds, but moving during the summer time had to be the absolute fucking worst. But the timing just couldn't be helped in this instance.

I had to get the fuck outta here…now.

Thank goodness a few of the boys from the rez were willing to help me, even if it was for no other reason than to get me out of Jakes' hair that much quicker. I was fairly positive that he wanted me gone after what had happened just as much as I wanted to be gone, if not more so.

Jake and I had truly tried to make this work, but a part of me knew that it was an impossible mission from the start. We had argued about everything under the sun from the moment we had moved into this little house of ours across the way from Billy's house.

"Hey Bella, if you wanted to fuck around on Jake, you know you could've just called me." Jared whispered thickly into my ear. He had walked up behind me after I had come down from the porch and he was standing way too close for comfort as he breathed heavily over my shoulder.

I don't know if it was actually possible for me to hear all of the sweat and grime that he was covered in, but I was pretty sure that's what it was.

I pushed into his sweaty, rock hard chest and smiled as sweetly as I could. "Jared, you're the best friend a guy could ask for, aren't you?"

"Don't you know it, Baby?" He winked at me, completely oblivious to how dirty his comment actually was.

See, I had never set out to 'fuck around' on Jake. I had never wanted to be that girl.

When we decided to try and make this work, I wanted to be everything that Jake had ever wanted me to be. At least I did until I realized exactly what that truly was.

Jake didn't want a companion.

Jake didn't even want the best friend that I had always been to him since we were kids. Jake wanted a mom.

Jake wanted his clothes washed and his food cooked and his cock fucked. No questions asked. No conversations had. No opinions voiced.

As soon as the reality of that hit me, I knew that our days were numbered.

What I didn't know was how I could try and turn this situation into one that we could both live with.

I knew that I could be all of those things to him and more, but I didn't know how to make him see the 'more' part of that. I wasn't sure how to make him realize that I still needed to be my own person outside of his home maker and bed warmer.

No, of course I wasn't the perfect girl and I wasn't while we were growing up. We had gotten into our fair share of stupid shit when we were kids. I would ditch school with Jake and the boys and we always had a blast. I smoked and I could drink with the best of them.

We came from the same place, grew up the same way and that would never change.

What WOULD change was the fact that I wanted more out of my life than this.

I wanted to go back to school and start a career. I needed more than Forks, Washington.

Jake went through the roof when I explained to him that I had signed up for some writing classes in Port Angeles. He wanted me to set a wedding date and start popping out little russet colored babies right away and I just wasn't ready for all of that. Sure, we could start planning a small wedding. I mean, we had already moved in together, so that was the next logical step if not a little backwards, but we needed to pump the brakes on the baby conversation.

He didn't understand why I was back and forth to Port Angeles so much, first claiming that my truck couldn't take it, but when I explained that it ran perfectly thanks to all of the work he had put into it, he finally gave up and said he was putting his foot down simply because "he didn't like the shit." He was absolutely livid after that and not even a blow job would loosen him up.

I'm still not sure what exactly he was afraid of, but with every road block that he put up, I found myself that much more determined to knock them down.

If I ever had to guess, it would be that he was afraid of me outgrowing him and not needing him in my life anymore. I had to admit, the more that I saw how completely content he was living here on the reservation and fixing cars with the boys all day, I knew that he would have been right to feel that way.

"Hey Bells," Jake called from the doorway, stretching and looking fabulous in his low riding jeans and sneakers with no shirt as was the uniform these days.

He looked totally relaxed, which made sense as he had lounged around most of the morning, refusing to help me in any way.

"Hey Jake," I called back.

"So, do you think you'll be done soon? I'm planning a little celebration barbeque and I wanted to invite Leah over before hand for a little 'christening' if you get my meaning."

He waggled his eyebrows in a way that earned some fist pumps and whistles from both Jared and Paul.

I couldn't help my snicker as I looked up at him from my place at the bottom of the porch steps.

I wasn't surprised at his attempt to make me look small in front of his boys, but I knew better than that. The little boy version of Jake that was crying in my lap last night, begging me to stay, told a different story. But, if this was what he needed to feel better about himself, then who was I to judge him?

"Of course, Jake," I said, tucking my hands into my back pockets. "I wouldn't dream of over staying my welcome."

"Cool," he said, looking smug and satisfied. "Paul, Jared, you guys want some beers?"

"Sure, man," Paul said. "Whatever you got is great."

I walked up the porch steps and squeezed past Jake who was still standing in the doorway, not making any move to get out of my way. I needed back into the house to do one last sweep for anything that I may have left behind.

There was no reason to stop in the living room because damn near all of that furniture was mine, so it was already packed and on the truck. I scanned the kitchen, grabbing my favorite cereal bowl and big pink coffee mug that Charlie had given me, tossing them into my book bag. I ran past the bathroom and the bedroom, checking the medicine cabinet and looking under the bed just to be sure I had packed my fuzzy rainbow slippers. I also made sure that the small engagement ring that Jake had given me was back in its case in his underwear drawer, safe and sound. No need to be a thief and a whore if I could help it.

Everything of the utmost importance appeared to be packed and ready to go.

"So, Bells, looks like you've got everything, huh?" Jake asked as he appeared behind me, making me jump.

"Yeah, it looks that way." I said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"Well, umm, in case I need to get a hold of you, should I just call over to Charlie's?" He asked, looking like the timid little boy that I used to know so well.

"I'm not sure why you would need to get a hold of me, but sure, you could call over to Charlie's. He'll have my new number." I answered.

"Wait a minute. You're not going to be staying with Charlie?" He asked, nostrils flaring.

I eyed him warily before responding. "Umm, no I won't be. Why would you think that?"

"Then where the hell will you be, Bella?" By this point, he was fuming and was trying unsuccessfully to keep his anger under wraps.

"Jake, what makes you think that I'm so helpless that I would move without having a backup plan? I'm taking college courses in Port Angeles, so I got an apartment near campus. Not that I owe you an explanation, but it's easier that way. It's really not that big of a deal."

"What about Charlie?" He asked.

"What about Charlie?" I asked, feeling my voice and my anger rising simultaneously. "I can come and visit Charlie whenever the hell I want. He may be a little ticked off at me, too, but he's still MY father. What are you getting so pissed off about?"

I couldn't understand where all of these questions were coming from when, just a few short moments ago, Jake was practically pushing me out the door.

I stood there, tapping my foot with my arms crossed over my chest, waiting…

"You must really think I'm stupid, don't you, Bella?"

"What are you on about, Jake?"

"It's him. You're moving to be with him, aren't you?"

I was so far beyond words in that moment; I could feel myself start to hyperventilate.

"Jake, I will not do this with you right now." I said. "Especially not after you just let God and country know that Leah Clearwater is on her way over here for you to fuck her. Goodbye Jacob Black."

I moved quickly past him, slinging my book bag over my shoulder and heading as fast as my legs would carry me towards the front door.

I didn't want this to get as ugly as I knew that it could and had been before.

But, before I could step out onto the porch, I felt a big, meaty paw wrap around my wrist and fling me backwards. I landed on the carpet in the front room right on my butt.

"We are not done here, Bella." Jake barked, breathing fire in my direction the entire time.

"Actually, Jake, we've been done here for quite some time." I hissed, rubbing at my swelling wrist.  
"What the fuck is your problem?"

"You are my fucking problem, Bella." Jake was full out yelling. "You have been ever since you moved in here and we are going to settle this right now, once and for all."

His face was set hard like stone and his fists were balled tightly at his sides. He looked like a volcano ready to erupt.

I looked up at him and I no longer recognized the man that stood in front of me.

I had done that.

I had turned him into this.

Happy go lucky, easy going Jacob Black was now a jealousy ridden, hateful man that was on the verge of adding violence to that list of traits.

"What are you going to do, huh, Jake? You gonna beat me into submission? You gonna smack me around until I tell you that I'm going to stay with Charlie? Will that make you feel better?" I laughed, attempting to make light of the situation that we found ourselves in.

I figured it was laugh or cry at this point and I would be damned if I shed one single tear for following my heart.

Jacob had never laid a finger on me in the past and I wasn't about to let him start now without giving him an earful first.

He blinked at me slowly, realization dawning across his expression. He must have realized what he looked like to me from where I sat on the floor.

"Bella," he whispered.

Before he could say anything further, I saw the shadows taking shape behind Jake before I heard any other sounds, but damn it if it didn't sound like an angel's harp when I did finally hear one of the voices that was attached to the shadowy figures.

"Oh no, I don't think that's anything that you would have to worry about, Sweetheart. If he's going to try and smack anybody around, it'll be a couple of guys his own size first and foremost."

I peeked around Jake and the pain in my wrist vanished.

It was Edward.

My Edward.

Edward stood in my doorway with his cousins, Emmett and Jasper, flanking his sides.

Emmett cracked his gargantuan knuckles loudly, giving the biggest, widest, brightest and scariest grin I had ever seen grace his teddy bear face. Jasper just stood there smirking at Jared and Paul who stood behind him as Edward held his hand out to me, helping me up off the floor.

The expression in his green eyes immediately softened.

"Are you ok, Love?" Edward asked, stroking my cheek with his large, soft hand.

It's amazing how I found myself breathless each and every time I shared the same space as this man.

"Yes, I think so. I was just getting the rest of my things so I could leave." I said once I found my voice.

I bent down to grab the bag that I had dropped and placed it onto my back.

"Certainly, Love." Edward said as he wrapped his arm tightly around me, tucking me closely into his side.

I had met Edward in a bookstore on campus.

I had bumped into him while I had my head stuck in a book. We got to talking about what I was reading and immediately hit it off. We went next door to a small coffee shop and kept talking for hours.

He was single, as he had gotten out of a relationship not too long ago and I was still in a relationship that I had no business being in. We agreed that neither one of us was in any position to attempt starting a new relationship, but we made meeting at that coffee shop in Port Angeles a regular thing from that day forward.

He had never pressured me to end things with Jake. He listened to me and gave me varying points of view for different situations, often playing the devils' advocate. He had always said that he was content with getting to know me better, that he was intrigued with both who I was as well as with the person that I was wanting to become.

I'll never forget the day that Edward had called himself my double sided coin.

He said that, on one hand, if I had opted to stay with Jacob, he would give me his most heartfelt congratulations and he would wish us the very best. However, if the day ever came where I decided to leave Jacob and move on with my life, he said that he would be there, ready and waiting with opened arms.

Either way, the coin was mine.

That meant the world to me.

The sad part about it was that, when I had finally made my decision, Edward was obviously the first person that I wanted to tell.

He had never tried anything physical with me, but as a celebration of my decision, we had decided to go out on our first real date which, looking back was a terrible decision.

We went to dinner at Bella Italia and then went dancing at a local night club. We had a ball.

Of course, at the end of the night, all of Jacob's friends caught us during our very first kiss by Edward's car outside of the night club under a streetlight, hence how the story that I had been 'fucking' around on Jacob all of this time had been born.

Before the interruption, though, I have to say, the kiss was soft, sweet and pure magic. There was an intensity there that I had never encountered before and that intensity lingered in every small touch or interaction we had had since. It didn't deserve the negative light that the timing had placed it in. I also had regrets about that same negative light being placed on Edward and what we had found together, but he said that he wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Well, Jacob," Edward said, cool as a cucumber. "If there's nothing else that you need to say to Bella, we'll be going."

He started to turn us around, but stopped himself, turning back toward Jake.

"Of course, if there IS something else that you needed to say, as it would appear that we may have interrupted you, by all means, continue. We'd love to hear what you were about to say to her."

I could see the shock written all over Jake's face. He was just as surprised as I was that Edward would come all the way to La Push of his own accord. Not many 'palefaces' would make that journey without reason.

I knew then, without a doubt, that when I had met Edward Cullen, I had found everything that I never knew I wanted and needed from a companion. Even with things being still so new and still so innocent between us, I knew that what I felt in my heart for him was love.

I was the reason that he had come all this way. He wanted to make sure that I was safe and taken care of.

That wasn't something that I was used to.

We waited a moment to see if Jacob had anything else that he wanted to say, but he just continued to stare slack jawed, at my knight in shining armor and his cavalry that had come to my rescue.

"Alright then," I said with a small wave. "I'll catch you later, Jacob."

We turned and started down the steps behind Jasper and Emmett.

Jasper stopped a moment to see if Paul and Jared would be moving out of the way or if they wanted to start some shit.

Jared stood nose to nose with Jasper for a split second before he thought better of it.

"Man, fuck this. Jake, you said you had beer in the fridge?" Jared asked, sliding past Jasper in a way that was meant to look like he wasn't fazed by the situation.

"Yeah man, help yourself." Jake said, looking quickly at Paul and Jared heading into the house, then turning his attention back to us.

"Hold on a second, Bella. We have some things to discuss before you just up and abandon your life and your home and everything else you know for some college asshole that's after a quick fuck."

I flinched visibly at his words and Emmett was in his face instantly.

"You may want to watch yourself," Emmett growled. "It looks like your boys have left you all alone out here, so tread lightly."

Jake held his hands up in a mix of surrender and irritation. "Look, I just need to talk to her, Man."

I could tell by his expression that he was being sincere, even if he was trying to use guilt and harsh words to convince me to stay and talk to him. The very least that I owed him, despite all of the pain and disappointment that we shared between us, was closure.

I made a move in Jake's direction and Edward tightened his arm around my waist automatically.

"It's ok," I whispered as my eyes met his and my hand touched his chest, right over his heart. "He won't hurt me. And I - I need to do this." I only hoped that he could see all of the love and gratitude that I felt for him in this moment.

Edward's expression was pained and his brow was furrowed as he met my gaze and nodded.

"Whatever you need," he said.

Emmett stepped aside and allowed Jake to meet me in the middle of our walkway.

Jake looked around as the Cullen men walked towards their cars, waiting until they were far enough away that he was comfortable before he would even look at me.

He took a long, deep breath and sighed in defeat.

"You really care about him, don't you?" he asked.

I reached out and took both of his hands within mine. Instead of pulling them away like I sort of expected, he squeezed them, just a little.

"I do, Jacob, I really do. But," I paused for a moment to find the right words, "you have to know that this isn't about him. You have to realize that this has been wrong for a long time, way before I even met Edward."

He looked at the ground, nodding reluctantly in agreement.

"Bella, I'm sorry for being such a dick over these last few weeks. I was just really hurt and I looked stupid, but you didn't deserve…"

I shook my head, cutting him off before he could say anymore.

"Jake," I whispered, cupping his face with my hand, willing him to look me in the eye.

"Jake, you know that I love you and a part of me always will. I love you enough to let you go so that you can find someone that can truly make you happy. We both know that I'm not her."

He forced out a laugh and took both of my hands back into both of his.

"But you were supposed to be, Bells."

He thought for a moment and pulled my chin up with his large finger, making me look up into his dark, determined eyes, deeply and with purpose.

"We were so easy together; it was like breathing .What happened to us? Wasn't it good once?"

I returned his humorless laugh with a giggle of my own.

"Yeah, it was. It was great until we fucked everything up by trying to be more than friends."

The smile he gave me was small, but genuine.

"I guess that is when all of the shit hit the fan, huh."

"Jake, a lifetime is a long time to live with regrets, so why don't we cut the games before we make an even bigger mess of things?" I asked. "I think that is the best thing that we can do for each other now."

I hoped that he could at least see the truth in some of the things I had said.

"Will you promise to take care of yourself living in the big, bad city?" He asked. He stroked my cheek with his thumb and it almost felt like old times.

I was happy to see my friend again, even if it was only for a second.

"I want and need happiness just as much as you do. I promise you that I'm gonna do my best to get it."

I stood on my tippy toes and gave him a small peck on the cheek. I turned and started walking towards my truck.

"Hey Bells," Jake called.

"Yeah, Jake?" I asked.

"Don't go getting soft on me. Just because you'll be a college girl doesn't mean you have to start taking shit from that guy or any other one for that matter. You've never been that sort of chick, so don't start now."

I winked at him. "You know better than that."

"Good." He laughed, "So, listen, maybe after some time, we could hang out again or something?" He asked with a hint of uncertainty as he kicked at a few rocks in front of him.

I wasn't really sure what the right thing to say was.

I cared for Jake and I knew I wouldn't be able to come to visit Charlie without asking about him or seeing him some time, but things were still too fresh. We would both need some time to heal from this.

Sure, I was ecstatic that we were able to come to some sort of peace before I left, but I didn't want to push it.

"Maybe," I said. "We'll see what happens."

"Sure, sure." He said.

"Ok, well, take good care of yourself. Oh, and take care of Billy!" I added quickly.

"Will do." He chuckled.

And with that, as awkward as my last month of living in this house, my pending move and my departure had been, I turned again and walked towards my truck, happy as hell and grinning from ear to ear.

Edward met me at the cab of my truck.

I had almost forgotten he was here.

"Looks like that ended well?" He asked, a little unsure of himself.

"Yeah," I said, unable and unwilling to hide my wide smile. "I think we gained some closure. We may even be able to be friends again down the road."

"Hmmm." He said, running his hands through his hair.

I wasn't sure what that look was about, but I'd add it to a list of things to ask on another day, at another time.

"Hey Bella, are you sure you guys are squarsies? I'd be more than happy to go and teach his ass a lesson for you. No charge." Emmett offered as he and Jasper came around to our side of the truck from his SUV.

"No, no, I don't think that's necessary, but I appreciate it all the same." I giggled.

"Anytime," he said with that same mischievous grin and knuckle crack from earlier.

"I could use you guys for some help moving, though, if you're free and able to ride up to Port Angeles for a bit." I said.

My new condo wasn't large, but I was sure that I would have enough room on the floor with the few pieces of furniture that I had to spring for some pizza and beer for everyone.

"That's actually a part of the reason that we're here, love." Edward said.

"Hmmm," I said this time.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Umm, we'll just follow you guys out to the freeway." Jasper said as he and Emmett started backing away from us.

"Bella?" Edward asked.

I cocked my head to the side a bit before speaking. "How did you know where I lived, Edward?"

"Well," he started, but I wasn't done with my questions.

"And how did you know exactly when I would need you guys for help?" I asked. "Edward, have you followed me home before?"

"Well, Bella," he looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck roughly. "Two things."

"I'm listening," I replied, eyeing him warily.

"First, timing is everything. We just happened to be in the right place at the right time."

"Ok," I said.

"Secondly, I find myself feeling very protective of you already. On one of the late nights that we spent in the coffee shop, I wanted to make sure you made it to your destination safely and, as lame as it may sound, I simply couldn't help myself."

I should have been pissed at him, but I wasn't. I couldn't be. This was just his way to show me that he cared.

Knowing my luck that would've been the night I'd gotten myself mauled by a bear or a wolf or something.

"Are you angry with me?" He asked, bracing himself for my reaction.

I waited a moment, letting him stew a little.

"No, not really. Just surprised. Pleasantly, I think."

"Good," he grinned, kissing me on my nose. "So, let's get you all moved in, shall we?"

"Sounds good. Do you think both of you guys will be able to keep up with me on the freeway?" I asked as I slammed the door shut to the truck.

"Are you serious?" He said, attempting to control his laughter. "We'll probably beat you there driving that old thing, with a trailer full of shit attached to it no less."

"Hey, hey, don't disrespect the truck." I winked. I knew it was an old piece of shit on its last legs, but fuck it. It was mine and I loved her.

"See you in a bit, love." He kissed me softly on the lips and got into his Volvo.

After just a few short minutes, we were on our way.

I rolled down all of the windows on the truck as the breeze from passing cars on the freeway whipped my hair around. I had my music blaring as loudly as it could go and my shades were firmly in place.

I was really doing it. I had come away from what could have ended up as a horrible break up and, more sadly, a tragic end to a lifelong friendship in one piece. Instead, I was leaving what would have been a terrible mistake on a note of reconciliation and sincerity with endless opportunities for a great future. I was furthering my education and broadening my horizon. I was embarking on something that could potentially end up being the great love of my lifetime one day. Time would tell. I was living on my own for the first time in my life, becoming my own person and discovering all of the little quirks and intricacies that made up the woman that was Isabella Marie Swan. What a difference a day makes.

Life was sweet and, as so many great stories usually do, these new chapters of my life would both happily and hopefully fade from black.


End file.
